This is the first installment of a series of devos/blogs/posts that I made from the beginning of an extremely hard season for our family. It all started in early October with our foster daughter. Most of you know that as a RN, our family has been called to medical fostering. “R” had come to us 8 months earlier from an 8 months stay in the hospital for a horrific car accident she had been in in August 2018. She sustained massive facial injuries as well as tore her liver in two. She died multiple times on multiple occasions during her early hours and weeks in the hospital. She had been slowly recovering and returning to a new ‘normal’ with us when she suddenly became extremely septic and before we knew it we were watching her die in front of us. These posts are reposted in blog-form from those months of her sickness and subsequent recovery. It was a storm that I never saw coming and has forever changed our family, both for good and bad. But God has been mighty within the storm and I feel a duty to proclaim Him amidst the turmoil. I’ll continue to update and post as I’m able.

{I will tell you (spoiler alert!) that R is happy, well, and healthy at this time. She is minus a leg, which had to be amputated during the critical phase of her illness, but she continues to thrive.}

So without futher ado, I bring you my heart within the Valley of the Shadow of Death series…

I sat down to write this devo just now and I find myself with no words to put to page. In a mere 4 hours one of our kids has gone from feeling a little bit sick to being lifeflighted to the nearest pediatric ICU. She is extremely septic, intubated, vitals unstable… all those things a mom fears during the darkest part of the night. I wanted desperately to have some great wisdom to glean from all this unexpected turmoil, and yet my heart is heavy and words escape me.

But it’s okay.

How blessed we are to have a Father that knows what we need when we don’t know ourselves. How blessed we are to have a Spirit who can intercede for us through our confusion, frustration, tears, and moaning. How blessed we are to have a Friend who is closer than a Brother who has died for me as well as my child- who knows her inner workings better than any doctor or nurse.

So it’s okay. No matter what happens.

Let me share my favorite passage for these dark and unexpected pathways. I know I’m not alone in the shadowy ways and the sudden twists- I know many of you are walking similar ones. How blessed we are that we’re never really alone!

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”
For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.
You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.
Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place— the Most High, who is my refuge— no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.
“Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name.
When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.
With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-16‬ ‭ESV‬‬